Tuesday, December 6, 2011

"Vinnie" the Sock Monkey Elf

Ok, so apparently I have been out of the loop because I wasn't sure about this "elf on a shelf" craze. So naturally I did what any young enterprising tech savvy woman would do... i googled it.

For those of you out of the "elf know how" loop. The Elf On The Shelf is a doll you may buy, which comes with a book and in the back of the book there is a spot where you may name your elf. Naturally you place the elf on a shelf where he may watch over your family through the holiday season. The elf is a magical elf that watches over your family and then flies back to the North Pole every night and reports back to Santa all your varied Holiday wishes. {family members are supposed to whisper their wishes to the elf} Also, the elf will report to Santa any bad behaviors it may see. Therefore, the elf is a smart manipulation tactic for parents with  young naive children. 

I quickly discovered the Elf on a Shelf retails for about $30.00. I instantly thought, why didn't I think of this idea?! -kicking myself in the butt- Then I thought to myself, 'Self, i will dream up my own Christmas Elf'. {As an aside I find the elf on a shelf to be mildly creepy, in fact looking at that cynical little grin it makes you think to yourself, 'is he really flying back to the north pole at night or is he secretly humping the family's pet gerbil or pooping in a jar of jam?' Sock monkey elf.....way cooler. Or at least I think so.}

Tadahhhhhh!  Vinnie the Monkey Elf. Clearly, he is an elf because he sports a smart santa hat. Ok so the name, I named him Vinnie because I wanted to name at least one of my boys Vincenzo {it's a family name}, to which I was flatly denied every single time. No paternal interlopers may impede my monkey naming business. Easy done......bamm! Vinnie it is.

Now with a name like Vinnie, he already has crazy street creed with the Italian-Americans of the world. So much so, that we were delighted to receive a call from the Mtv peeps. Vinnie was asked to star in the next season of Jersey Shore. Admittedly, at first he was reluctant to respond with, 'yes'. Nevertheless he figures it will only make him seem smarter by comparison. {don't let the goofy exterior fool you, he's rather witty....he tells the best knock knock jokes} So he's going for it....big things happening for Vinnie, my friends. big things.

Having a monkey for an elf is pretty cool, however, monkeys are mischievous by nature. Needless to say, there are a few minor setbacks to having a Sock Monkey Elf. For instance, he loves to sneak shots of rum or vodka. Luckily, he's pretty darn small, so he passes out after about a half a shot. bad bad monkey...

Sock Monkey Elves are not easy to potty train. In fact they find it "giggle-riffic". At times you may find a "gift" in your stocking.

That's when you need to give your Sock Monkey Elf a lil' time out action.

Sock Monkey Elves love cameras. curious little critters. In fact, most of your holiday photos will have your monkey somewhere in the frame. He's the ultimate photo bomber.
A  cool feature with your Sock Monkey Elf...they know their way around a computer like a champ! No need to fly back and report to Santa. Oh no, they send emails. far more efficient. and way cooler.
Although there may be some disagreeable adjustments with a Sock Monkey Elf around. They are pretty darn nifty. If I do say so myself.... Happy Holidays everyone!
I hope you enjoyed Vinnie the Sock Monkey Elf. If you have an Elf on the Shelf, -i actually think they are very cool, but i'm just to cheap to spring for one-,  have a good one and thanks for stopping by!


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